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You Can Never Go Home

by Noizybrain

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1.
Sometimes I don't feel like the me I know I'm trying to keep some sense of self control But as soon as I know it I leave it behind And I still don't know what I'm expecting to find Baby I don't know what to do Sometimes I catch myself thinking about you And every love is another wound, but Baby I want you to be my bruise So maybe it is Or maybe it was Or maybe it's something totally new We have our words in place of the truth There's a billion ways you could say this whole thing works Talk all I want cause opinions are cheap as dirt And every kiss, every chance to touch the divine Dunno what it's worth but I'm saving up every dime So maybe it is Or maybe it was Or maybe it's something totally new We have our words in place of the truth We're always oblivious to the truth Baby I don't know what to do Sometimes I catch myself thinking about you
2.
I rode out to a country town I rode far from the city, found a place to sit down It was a bench that was overgrown There was no one there, sometimes I like to be alone I try every day to be a little more kind Maybe I could love you with a little more time But for now I gotta keep moving on I gotta figure out who I am by writing these songs Gotta let myself know what I'm all about Gotta know why I whimper and why I shout Can't count all the times how desperately I wanted out I try every day to be a little more kind Maybe I could love you with a little more time It's strange that now it comes to me Through every rosy memory The time she was a half of me I think it may have been too much I needed her; she was my crutch She was my charm, she was my luck Relied on her to hold me up I think I really lost myself Yeah, I really lost myself I never really found myself And to this day I wonder was it love? But for now I gotta keep moving on I gotta figure out who I am by writing these songs Gotta let myself know what I'm all about Gotta know why I whimper and why I shout Well I want out
3.
Oh, well it's your last day And you're looking for some closure to the end of your stay But the sun is setting now And the time you had slipped away somehow And it never did seem fair Wanna go but don't know where Got some idea of some excitement Some conclusion, some satisfaction Some way to make it all make sense All we get are loose ends Start something, end it, going nowhere again Feels like there's something, Some final goal, some ultimate purpose Some way to make it all connect She lights another cigarette Says another won't hurt, it hasn't killed me yet She's looking out watching red sunset It's a dead sort of feeling, not happy and not upset Oh, well it's your last day And you're looking for some closure to the end of your stay Well here's the question no one likes to address: Where are we going with this whole damn mess? Convinced ourselves that there's something it means There must be somewhere it's all gonna lead Right? I wanna be a part of something, something meaningful I wanna be a part of something, something beautiful And it never did seem fair Wanna go but don't know where Got some idea of some excitement Some conclusion, some satisfaction Some way to make it all make sense Well I don't have the answer I just live along the best that I can And no one has the answer We all just tell ourselves the best that we can I wanna be a part of something, something deliberate I wanna be a part of something, something infinite
4.
I never thought a moment could be enjoyed for so long But sometimes it's pleasant to be totally wrong And I know it must end with a bang or a hiss My hands on your hips Life is hide and seek happiness We soak it up while we can We soak it up while we can I remember your face on that bright afternoon We hurried outside cause your mom was coming home soon And I remember you said "When I'm too old to run, I hope I still see you as you appear in the sun" Well we soak it up while we can We soak it up while we can I think it was December when I first fell in love The world was a puzzle that was easy to solve Cause she was all of the pieces And her presence was a reservoir And I'd been in the desert for as long as I care to remember We soak it up while we can We soak it up while we can We soak it up while we can We soak it up while we can
5.
6.
I wanna meet some strangers but I'm usually too shy I wanna hear their stories and make empathetic sighs I often wonder why it is so hard for me to see That there is nothing there to fear and there is always love in need It always seems insane to me that no one really knows Nothing about anything and where our conscious goes I often get confused and it all seems like a lot But I found most things simply are And I feel often I am not

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released June 18, 2013

Thank you Ena Kantardžić for the artwork!

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